Hi, my name is Christina Suko. My family lives and serves as missionaries in Ukraine. My husband, Caleb, and I are a part of young local church "Hope for People". (By the way, you may better recognize me as Naomi's mom ;D )
There are some questions that are easier to answer and easier to discuss when boys aren’t around.
This past Sunday our youth group kicked off the new school year with a girls only and a boys only fellowship. The topic was
“Are There Boundaries in Boy/Girl Relationships?”
I had the privilege of speaking with the girls and helping them answer their questions from a Biblical perspective.
About 20 girls showed up for this time of questions and answers.
Here are some of the questions the girls asked and a brief summary of how I/we answered them.
- Is there is there one specific guy that God has predestined me to marry?
Too many girls worry that they have missed their chance because that one guy has slipped through their fingers, however the Bible never says that there is one predestined spouse for each person.
Rather than looking for the one guy that you’re supposed to marry look for that one type of guy who has a strong faith, Christian character and lives by the principles of God’s Word.
- All my friends are dating and I’m still alone. I’m afraid that I might never get a date or get married and be lonely for the rest of my life. What should I do?
This is a fear that many young women deal with but they don’t have to. When you fear loneliness you are saying that you don’t believe God can give you the companionship that you need, you are saying that God is not enough, you are saying that a husband or boyfriend can do for you what God can’t do for you.
The sad reality is that many girls would have been much happier if they didn’t rush into marriage with a man who was less than godly.
Instead of fearing loneliness learn to focus on building a deeper relationship with the God who is always by your side, start serving others, which will help you get your focus off of yourself.
- Is it ok to kiss before we get married?
While the Bible doesn't give specific instructions on kissing before marriage it is wise to wait. The physical aspect of the relationship is meant for marriage and when young couples start pushing the limits it can quickly progress beyond a “harmless kiss”.
- If we kiss before the wedding do we lose a blessing?
The best way to think of this is like a present. Say your parents bought you a new dress for Christmas. They wrapped it up and put it under the tree. You wanted to know what was under the wrapping paper so badly that you sneaked in at night and opened the present to take a peek.
You were excited to see the new dress, but you had to put it back in the box and pretend you never saw it.
When Christmas day comes around you once again open the present. You’re still excited to have your new dress but the initial euphoria has already passed. You may even fake a little excitement so that your parents don’t know that you had already peaked at the gift.
No, kissing before marriage won’t ruin your future marriage, but it will change your experience as you stand at the wedding altar and share that “first” kiss!